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Talk:BreakTheInternet/@comment-3575890-20170406080829
SPOILER It's so sad how throughout consistently being invalidated and her feelings trivialized throughout the series, the first person Hannah turns to about her rape, makes excuses for her rapist, invalidates her, even implies she had culpability, and pretty much revictimizes her all over again. It's clear that Hannah still was holding onto some will to live through all the pain and trauma. She went to Porter because she hoped for some support for ONCE and he made it worse. All she wanted was somebody to convince her to not give into her demons in all the right ways that would suggest she was understood, validated, and loved. She was internally screaming for somebody to recognize the gravity of her turmoil and reach out to her. Mr. Porter did the opposite of everything he actually should have and inadvertently triggered her to suicide. No sense mulling over the what ifs, but without a doubt, if she had went to Clay instead, the outcome would have been different. I like to think their sweet montage was an alternate timeline that occurs in a universe where Hannah turns to Clay instead. There's no doubt that Clay would have listened and he would have shown her the comfort and support she needed to move past the pain. All Hannah wanted to feel was that her life, her feelings - she - mattered to somebody in that god forsaken school. Clay loved her. The fact that he was never able to tell her secured him a spot on her list in the first place, but God, things could have been so fucking different even in those last few days if everybody had just fine-tuned some of the ways that they reacted to these terrible things happening to Hannah. If Tony had went to get when she confided in him; if Clay had stayed behind until he could get her to open up to him instead of leaving her alone in the room, or told her, at any point at all, how much she meant to him. If Mr. Porter had actually shown some fucking sympathy instead of hopping on the lying harlot bandwagon like literally everybody else except Clay and Alex was on. If her parents hadn't been so wrapped up in the store and paid closer attention to their daughter. And of course, obviously, if the primary sources of Hannah's pain had never done the awful things they did, but then, that would be an entirely different story. Even then, in a universe where Hannah was abused, stalked, harassed, vilified, abandoned, and raped, there was still hope left for her survival until Mr. Porter snuffed out the tiny shred that remained. And that's what kills me. Hannah didn't have her mind set until into the aftermath of her traumatic experiences. Mr. Porter could have done so much more and exponentially differently in a manner that would be actually professional, compassionate, and effective and it could have made all the difference in the outcome. But thus encompasses the entire point of the story to begin with. In the end, Clay recognizes that he and everyone else could have done more for Hannah and he can't take it back because unfortunately, you can't love someone back to life. He does, however, vow not to make the same short-sighted mistakes, and pays it forward by befriending somebody who still can be helped. This is what I think Hannah wanted all along. Her recordings were not inspired by spite or meant for beyond-the-grave vengeance, but out of proactivity. She made it so that this would never happen to someone again.